*this is the broad strokes, I might expand on this later*
Let’s Define “Engagement”
It means doing the thing… engaging in activity.
When you are having a conversation with someone… you’re engaged in conversation.
When you are working on a project, personal or professional… you’re engaged in activities that support completion of the project.
When you are completely unconscious in the middle of the night doing nothing… you’re engaged in sleep.
When your mind spirals about that crazy that did, could, or will happen… you’re engaged with those thoughts
Whatever you DO— you are engaged with that thing.
The Truth About “Engagement”
Nobody does something for no reason at all.
We engage with things because those things do something for us.
The things we engage in serve some sort of purpose for us, in our lives.
The things we engage with bring us joy (or sadness).
They bring us excitement (or boredom).
They bring us love (or resentment).
But, what the “things we engage with” do more than anything else—
They validate our beliefs.
They confirm our Bias.
They write our story.
Until they don’t.
Why Does this Matter?
You do everything you do for a very specific reason.
Whether you are aware of it, or not.
Whether you like it, or not.
What this means is that every action you take,
every thought you contemplate,
every emotion you embrace…
These things all act as a mirror of what you believe to be true and what you value in life, even if it brings you pain and suffering— because even that pain and suffering does something for you.
Whether you are aware of it, or not.
Whether you like it, or not.
(The things a person will unknowingly do self-sabotage in order to prove to themself that they are in fact the victim in their own story…nothing short of remarkable)
What Are You Supposed to Do With This Information?
Understand yourself better.
Learn to identify the underlying motivation for doing the things that you do.
By better understanding the underlying motivation for doing the things that you do, you are able to better understand the values that are reflected by your thoughts, actions, and emotions.
By better understanding the values that are reflected by your thoughts, actions, and emotions— you have a greater ability to identify if you are living with integrity and honoring your core values.
If you come to find that you are not acting with integrity and honoring your core values… you must then face yourself and make a choice.
Option 1: Work towards creating change that enables you to live with integrity and honor the core values that align with the life you want to experience
Option 2: Stay stuck exactly where you, reliving the same trauma, fighting the same fights, whining and complaining and dealing with the same problems— until you finally learn your lesson and pick option #1
I hope reading this was a good use of your time, energy, and attention. Now go do something with it. If you’re not sure what to do with it, you can always just talk to me.
-David